Last year I wrote an article about self body image and my inability to feel comfortable in my own skin and love and accept myself freely both publicly and privately.
What concerned me most at the time, was how this inability to do and feel loving acts and thoughts toward myself would render me incapacitated to be able to pass onto my future daughter/s (should I have any) the very thing that I held most important in my mind and my heart – self love and acceptance.
It was hard to face, the realisation that for almost thirty years I had secretly resented my body and my soul for everything that it was and had hidden them, punished them, chastised them, and on almost a daily basis internally criticised them.
This is not to say that I didn’t have fleeting moments of self love and acceptance, because there were good and bad moments, days and times.
However, it horrified me to come to terms with how cruel I had been to the very person I owed the most amount of love, acceptance, encouragement and pride to – myself.
My 5 year old self, my 15 year old self, my 25 year old self and now there I was at 28 repeating these same hurtful and hateful cycles of behaviour that had plagued me my whole life and no doubt the women in generations before me.
So when my life as I knew it was turned completely upside down by devastating and unexpected circumstances (a story for another time), I took it as an opportunity to do what I had internally and probably subconsciously longed for myself in this life and possibly many before it. I decided to embark on the glorious and magical journey of self-healing.
A concept that in its initial stages was so foreign to me that it was something to be learned from the ground up.
The interesting thing is, that the person I am now, and the person I was 12 months ago are vastly different. The body is a vessel for the soul, and needless to say not only is my physical body changing and growing and shifting on a daily basis, but so is the spiritual one inside of me.
There is nothing more freeing, more beautiful and more satisfying, than coming to a point of love and acceptance of both, and being present to make decisions for myself that honour these two parts of me and in turn, enable them to shine their light in the way they were divinely designed to.
Today is an unforgettable day in my life, and no doubt in history itself. As I watch my social media feeds light up with photo after photo, message after message, of men and women alike campaigning not only for womens rights both in the USA and world wide, but for HUMAN rights, the rights of people of every age, sex, religion and race. My heart warms and I think to myself – ‘what a time to be alive.’
I am proud to be a global citizen today and I am proud of the people who shine the light on the truth and do it in the most powerful and profound way possible – through the power of love.
Because the one thing I have found in the last twelve months is that love is where healing starts and ends. Love for ourselves, mother earth, for God or the Universe or source – whatever way you see the greater power that both created and watches over us, and love for each other, for human kind, is the only thing that can eliminate evil and hatred from all of the above.
Therefore in addition to the posts I usually write where I share my perspective on various things I see and am a part of, I want to share my journey of self healing also.
Because in order for me to embark on it myself, I had help from countless people. Teachers, friends, authors of articles and books alike.
Brave souls who write about topics that they are passionate about. I had no idea where to start, but even more so, I had no idea where it would end up.
From the darkest of places to walking each and every day in the light.
Along the way, I have learnt so much, many mistakes have been and continue to be made. It is I would suggest, a never-ending journey, the path to healing oneself but what I have found is that the best way for us to heal the world, to heal the generations before us and those that will or have come after us, is to start with healing ourselves.
My hope is that even if the following articles reached one person who was in need, or who benefited from what I have learnt also, then I have helped the world in some small way, and shared the joy that I have been so fortunate and grateful to find in my heart.
Thank you for reading x